I watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother last night about relationships from the past that effect present relationships. The current situation of the story was that two characters had a relationship that was fairly new, it was in my opinion quite happy. This was true until one of the characters mentioned his exes and also casually mentioned that he still possessed items that belonged to the exes. His girlfriend, I thought acted in a way that was quite natural, in that she was disturbed by it and acted by telling the guy that she was not comfortable with it. The two characters confronted their friends about it and asked them to weigh out their argument of whether or not the guy should get rid of those items or if he should keep them. The guys sided with the guy saying that these items were just items with no emotional baggage attached to them and should be kept regardless of where they came from. The girls fought that the items should go because it would make them feel uncomfortable everytime they saw the items displayed, causing them to overthink the issue. In the end the girls won by a vote in a tie breaker situation, although the point raised by the votee was inconclusive (as they usually are from Barney).

Now in this situation I would be a bit of a fence sitter, I see where both sides are coming from. Objects are indeed objects, they have uses but when someone of importance in your life such as your bf/gf gives them to you, they should have some significant meaning right? The object therefore becomes something symbolic, but when that relationship ends, the meaning that came with the object should too? Yeah, depending on what was given to you I suppose, it could be something worth keeping! Well then again, what happens when your ex gives you a photoframe with a picture of you and them in it and you cherish it, waking up every morning and going to sleep every night seeing that picture right until the relationship ends. Later, you form another relationship with someone else and he or she gives you a photo of both of you and you use that exact same photoframe given to you by your ex, to frame the new photo. Would your new flame feel the same about the photoframe as you do, knowing where it came from? Or would they feel as if they were a replacement? It might sound silly, but many people see objects as symbolic. People are emotional bodies that make meaning of almost everything and talking about the past including talking about exes can be a very sensitive topic. Because what comes with exes? many past shared memories including the giving of items and gifts. There is always a story behind every object that you possess such as why you got it, what are its uses or who gave it to you, why were they given to you and who you were with when it was given. If you held onto something that was given to you by an ex, it may seem as if you are still holding onto the past and still cherishing those memories. Alot of thought I know, but this can actually be an issue in relationships and it could result in your partner feeling that you are not 100% theirs, which then leads to other bigger problems including jealousy and insecurity.

So kids, if you are in a relationship, be true and fair to yourself and your partner- do you really see that photoframe as just an ordinary object or are you holding onto that photoframe because it is symbolic of something else?; be reasonable about things - are you thinking too much into things?; be sensitive of your partner's feelings - this pretty bracelet was from my ex bf but I can see my bf isn't comfortable with me wearing it, and also if you are truly committed to your partner, do show that you are 100% committed and also remember, it's not just the things you say that count most, it's also the things you do!

Hehe, gees that show got me thinking quite a bit! I don't have any exes to spill on but I have always been curious about past relationships and really find it an interesting topic because there are so many dimensions to it. Being in my first serious relationship has really made my life worthwhile because I am experiencing and dealing witH so much more and it has helped me to think more rationally.

Anyways, on a total different subject HAPPY 27TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BROTHER!! (9/10/08)