Oh gosh, OK big news! While I was at work on Friday I received a phonecall from a number that I didn't recognise and I had a slight suspicion that it was about my teaching offer for next year...but didn't think too much about it until my mum picked me up...she said someone from the department had called me and that it was an emergency for me to call back...that freaked me out so bad! It was like...crunch time.

I was so nervous to call and I even locked myself in my room for a while to think about what I would say...but my mum kept pushing me to call, which didn't really calm my nerves at all. I called twice but the phoneline was busy and I gave up for a while..but my mum went ahead and called for me so I was forced to take the call. The person that had rang me was named John and the first thing he said was...Ah, Evelyn...I've got an offer for and it's a really good one too...we are offering you a place at South Kalgoorlie Primary School...he sounded so nice and pleased to hear my voice, which made me feel awful for I knew that I didn't want to take the offer anymore...I managed to stutter a response of whether or not he needed an answer right at that moment. Luckily he said I had until Monday before noon to call back and he gave me details of the school...there are 820 children at the primary school, it is located at the city's central, it has 30 staff at the school and 5 pre-primary classes, which is a lot! It may sound daunting, but to me, it sounded like South Kalgoorlie was a really good school to be at because I knew that I would definitely be given a great amount of support as a starting teacher..But I knew I couldn't just pass the offer right there and then. But you know, when I asked if I could delay my answer, I really felt that John seemed to already know what my choice would be...but he was nice enough to give me the number of the school, it's principal and housing arrangements...just in case.

I only hoped that I would be offered a remote school, so that I could decline the offer without much hesitation...Why did it have to be such a good school! At that point I was pretty much back at square 1, but with a lot less time to decide if I would go or not. In the back of my mind...I knew that this would such a great opportunity, but I also knew that this isn't the only opportunity for me...

After the phonecall...I got into an argument with my mum. She always pushes me to go work as soon as I can and she didn't seem to have listened to me when I said that I didn't feel that going to Kal was what I wanted at this time. She accepted it before...but after the call, she just changed her mind in a flash. Sigh...so many thoughts and stress running through my head...I don't think anyone really understands the amount of pressure I have stored up inside of me....day by day it builds. So much that I can stare into nothingness and just burst our crying for no reason...it's painful. Yeah anyway, we argued and somehow I got my point across to my mum, but I also yelled some disrespectful things like calling my mum stubborn, pushy, unfair and always pressuring me to do things...I knew I crossed the line though...I think I just lost it. One thing that I must learn is not to raise my voice at my mum, because she is the queen of being stubborn and there is no way in hell you can win against her. So I had back down and explain things calmly, multiple times before she even tried to accept my choice...but she was still furious at me for challenging her...there was one thing that she said to me during that heated conversation that got to me...she said that I had been keeping her and everyone else in my family out in the cold and that I just haven't been communicating with them...and that they had no idea what was running through my head. I don't know why I don't talk to them about things in depth..I guess I'm scared of being pushed to do something that I don't want to do because really..they have such a great influence over me..I was wrong to have neglected them though...family comes first so I had to apologise, which I found hard to do...I don't know why, but I did and I guess my mum sensed that my apology was sincere and we sorted things out from there...I really have to control myself and be a better daughter...but I guess would also like space to think for myself.

Anyway I digress...at this moment...everyone in my family knows that I am going to decline the offer and I'm grateful that they haven't been pushing me any further about going to Kal and have actually been really supportive of me and have suggested other things that I could do next year. I guess in the end...they are really just worried and want to help because they are the ones that know me best. So right now I can say that I'm happy about my choice and thank-you everyone for being there for me!!

So yes...Monday it will be official =)