Help me! I'm thinking too much again =( Whenever I'm left alone by myself...my mind wanders and then I overstress and get depressed over everything. How stupid, sometimes I hate it when I think...I'd rather just do. Hmm...in one night, a lot has gone through my head...let me release and share with you all...
OK, firstly I don't know what I'm doing next year...which is really scary..even though I'm still living at home and I'm being supported by my parents...I kind of feel that I need to get off my butt and start being more independent...I think that I've slacked off enough. But...I don't want to work fulltime yet, because once I start, there won't be anymore slack time....why am I so lazy? ahaha. At the moment, I kind of really want a job teaching next year, because a lot of my uni friends have been offered one, which makes me feel rather left out, but I'm not going to go all emo and start regretting my opportunity to go teach in Kalgoorlie...I really think I made the right choice in not going. It's just that if they can all get jobs close to their homes...then I should be able to too right? Only problem is...they have contacts...I don't have many. Argh...school is ending very soon, I think that I'd better go have a chat with my ATP teachers...they might miraculously offer me a job someplace...wish me luck for next year =)
Also, I've been feeling really bottled up inside...when I start to think about certain situations my head congests and tears start to swell...I hold them back making things worse. What I need is someone there for me to listen and willing to hear what I have to say. I may seem quite quiet most of the time but I think that it is because I have fallen victim to being a listener. I have a couple of friends that I believe to be listeners that actually listen to what people say...and I thank God that they are in my life. I guess what I am trying to say is, I need someone there for me that will listen and try to understand me for once, instead of someone that always tries to make me understand them. How will you ever start to know who I really am if you don't ask me or give me a chance to just speak. I don't want to hold back when I try to express myself...it's painful.
Am I demanding too much? Does it seem like I always have to win? Is calling me on the phone such a strenuous activity? Why am I always the one that seems to be fighting for hope? Is it wrong for me to try and spread a bit of cheer? Is being tired even an excuse in a relationship? Am I really as happy as I seem to be...
There is just so much going on, but is there anyone actually there that will care to listen to what I think? Sigh...if only.
Anyways...emo panda shall back into her cave now =P
I've busy lately, with the summer holidays well and truly settling in =D. In a nutshell...
Friday, bf and me joined the gym near my house..hooray! At night, the usual gang met at Utopia for some karaoke fun. The only thing different this time was that we had FOOD! omg, it was so good with 4 pizzas and KFC yom! It somehow made the night more entertaining, plus we were given a weird room with an uncovered window, suitable for peekages. We were scared by one particular person looking inside at us...Ama screamed, so naturally so did everyone else ahaha...her scream is contagious. I also saw the giants Charles and Chenelle as well as Alvin downstairs.
Saturday...didn't have work or tutoring anymore, so bf and me headed to the gym for our first workout session =D I have to say, gymming is very the fun. There weren't too many people there, so it let us explore the place more comfortably. I used the treadmill and bikes...I'm surprised I even lasted for an hour..can't wait for the next time we go. At night, Jen+C, Ama, Jas, Wei and me headed to methoes for some crazy dancing. It was a Christmas theme, but it seemed that only the bartenders dressed up haha. We got there and it was completely dead and really weird just standing around in so much open space! Things picked up after a while though. It was really really hot and we were all sticky, but had a lot of fun dancing and singing...weiwei is psycho haha! Saw quite a few people there too...we got home at 3ish in the morning, which wasn't too bad!
Sunday, such a hot day! Jen, Ama and me headed to Fremantle for Jas's graduation. Yays! Congrats to my chicken for finishing! So proud of her hehehe. We were seated outside, but it was still undercover and I think probably cooler than inside...good thing we had programs to use as fans ahaha. The ceremony went for just over an hour, which wasn't too bad. I saw Janelle graduate too! Such a coincidence =) Afterwards we went into the student commonroom and had free drink...which was a really good idea because everyone was thirsty! Then Jen, Ama and me walked to Dome for a snack. Soon Jas came and joined us and we had a big gossip session hohoho. At night bf took to go watch Highschool Musical 3! It was really good and the songs were catchy as usual. I think it's the last one, so sad. But I'll be sure to go get all 3 movies when they are out. The cinema was really empty too...guess not many people watch movies on Sunday nights ehehe.
Tonight...got rockband party at chicken's house...yay!!
